Allow me to serve you.

Join my email community.

< All posts


Blog single main image

Getting this could transform your life (avoidance attachment)

I’m attempting this week to distinguish something that might be challenging for you to get from a one-way communication, but what the hay, let’s go for it anyways.

If it doesn’t make complete sense, that’s okay.

This is more about what insights show up for you as you consider the possibility of what I’m sharing.

“Getting” distinctions like this are usually a function of engaging in a powerful coaching dialogue, and so I don’t usually attempt to articulate them in my articles.

I’m feeling risky this week, so here goes…

To begin, let me first say that what I’m sharing this week regarding obstructions isn’t the truth.

I’m inviting you to merely consider what I’m sharing as a possibility.

This way, you are relieved from the burden of determining whether you agree.

Simply try on what I’m sharing as a possibility.

That’s it.

If you see something valuable for you, excellent.

If not, that’s okay too.

I assert that if you approach this with a certain openness and willingness you’ll likely see something immensely valuable for your life.

In fact, I assert that if you honestly try on what I’m sharing with you this week as a possibility, an insight will occur for you that will transform your life.


Have you ever wondered why certain people who seemingly have it all — the money, relationships, house, car, family, et cetera — are still deeply unhappy and unfulfilled?

Some will even go so far as to commit suicide, and we’re left befuddled.

How could that be?

Why would they do that?

They had it all, didn’t they?


Being happy.

Being fulfilled.

Being prosperous.

Being fully expressed.

Being FREE.

Experiencing profound peace.

Being ALIVE!


Without the internal work, it doesn’t matter how much we accumulate on the outside.

Without the internal work, it doesn’t matter how much we accumulate on the outside.

Yes, I typed that twice purposively because it’s exceedingly important.

If you really want to experience the wondrous joy that life has to offer, then internal work is REQUIRED.

Bottom line.

I sincerely acknowledge those in the minority with the courage and humility to commit themselves to personal and spiritual growth and development.

I love who you BE.


An enormous part of living a deeply satisfying life is identifying and clearing obstructions to our natural love, light, and power.

One such obstruction is what I’ll refer to as an “avoidance attachment.”

In certain areas of our lives, we do what we do, not solely for the sake of doing it because we’d love to do it, but because we are avoiding something that we are resisting.

Let me give you an example to provide some context.

Say for example that you were terrified of being a failure so you worked really hard to be successful.

You are successful now because you were terrified to fail.

You might also be successful because it was concurrently something you really wanted.

Nonetheless, you created success primarily from a place of fear and avoidance.

You were afraid of failing and wanted to avoid failure (this is the avoidance attachment).

While you have succeeded, something may still seem amiss.

What is it?

Consider that the avoidance attachment is still present underneath the surface of your consciousness and thus posing an obstruction to the great joy available within the context of success and prosperity (whatever that might mean for you).

It helps to think this through visually.

Imagine pushing something away from you.

So long as you are pushing it away from you, you are attached to it.

What we resist persists.”

Let me provide another example to help illustrate.

Let’s say that you entered into a relationship because you were afraid of being lonely.

You created something again primarily from a place of fear and avoidance rather than love and desire.

Sure, you might have created a relationship with someone you love who loves you.

Though again there may be something amiss.

Consider the avoidance attachment — fear of being lonely — is still attached underneath the surface of your consciousness and therefore posing an obstruction to experiencing the incredible love and fulfillment available within the context of the relationship.

So what to do?

“The beginning of real authenticity is being authentic about our inauthenticities.”

Take a close and honest look at what’s underneath the surface.

What have you created to avoid something else?

Significantly, there is nothing wrong or bad here.

Judgment isn’t necessary.

We can remove that right now.

There’s nothing broken to fix here either.

Only something to see and consider as a possibility.

THAT is what provides us the CLEARING from which to create a new possibility for being.

THAT is what provides us the FREEDOM and POWER to create our lives from a place of love and desire.

If you are creating success because you are afraid of failing or something else, that’s okay!

If you are creating profound shifts, breakthroughs, and transformation in your life because you are afraid of what would happen if you didn’t, that’s okay!

If you are creating a relationship because you are afraid of being lonely, that’s okay!

Again, there’s nothing wrong or bad, or anything broken to fix here.

Take a close look within.

See what shows up for you.

Notice it.

Be with it.

Acknowledge it without judgment.

Our ability to consciously notice it and willingness to be with it and acknowledge it without judgment are what provide us the CLEARING, FREEDOM, and POWER to create new possibilities from a place of LOVE and DESIRE.

And that is a POWERFUL stance from which to create our lives!


I’d love to complete with powerful words by Kobe Bryant…

When you make a choice and say, ‘Come hell or high water, I am going to be this,’ then you should not be surprised when you are that. It should not be something that is intoxicating or out of character because you have seen this moment for so long that … when that moment comes, of course it is here because it has been here the whole time, because it has been [in your mind] the whole time.”


Create an extraordinary week.

With your luck, this could be the best week of your life 🙂


Believing in you,

Recent Posts