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The surprising truth that stops us from playing BIG!
During my morning run today I was reminded of something I discovered many months ago that I wanted to share with you.
It’s something that stops many of us from playing BIG.
It’s a bit deep so please bear with me as I do my best to articulate the discovery.
Once you see this, and learn a new way of being, you’ll be freed up to play however big you want and begin producing greater results than ever before.
First, allow me to share something really important.
Playing small. Playing medium. Playing big.
They are each distinct worlds.
Neither is better than the other.
This article is for people like me who would simply prefer to play BIG.
Okay, now that we’re clear on that, what do you think stops so many of us from playing big?
The answer might come to you as a surprise…
JUDGMENT.
But NOT others’ judgments
Yes, the fear of others’ judgments can definitely limit us, but I’m talking about something a little deeper.
I’m talking about OUR judgments of OURSELVES.
SELF-JUDGMENT.
We set goals that might be challenging YET we’re usually pretty confident that we can hit them.
We’re often stopped from setting goals WAY outside our comfort zone.
And what stops us is our way of approaching goals.
Rather than set goals, we set bars for self-judgment.
And if we don’t hit those goals, we make that mean something about us — e.g., I’m a failure, something is wrong with me, I’m a loser, et cetera.
The inner-critic comes out and drops the hammer… producing guilt, shame, remorse, and more.
This way of being is normal and common, so you know.
And given our innate aversion to emotional pain, you can start to see clearly why we limit our goals and thus the results we produce in life.
So what to do?
Well, by first expanding self-awareness and elevating subconscious patterns to the consciousness, like we’re doing in this very moment, a clearing begins to open up.
We can start to see new possibilities for our lives.
We can start to play a bigger game.
It’s critical that we now begin to transform our approach to goals.
Pick a goal in your life that you’d honestly consider is at your edge.
Got it?
Okay, now go beyond!
Feel a bit discomforting?
Perfect!
Here’s our new approach: operate from possibility with commitment and be totally detached from the outcome.
Detached from the outcome?
Yes.
It’s not that we don’t care about the outcome, it’s that we detach from the outcome such that it’s not a bar for self-judgment anymore — i.e., it doesn’t mean anything about us if we don’t hit it!
We choose it from a place of freedom and love, we commit to it, we go at it with everything we’ve got, and yet we’re not attached.
The freedom to play BIG is in that last piece of knowing that it doesn’t mean anything about us whether we hit it or not.
The only meaning anything has is the meaning we ascribe to it.
When we can strip away the meaning we ascribe to not hitting our goals, we can actually be free to start playing BIGGER, start setting extraordinary goals rather than bars for self-judgment, and start producing greater results.
Our goals are an internal place to come FROM, which illuminate and empower us to enjoy the ride.
It’s the journey that matters the most in the end.
If you’ve ever seen the Peaceful Warrior you might remember the part where the coach tells his coachee that he wants to take him on this amazing hike where he has something really spectacular to show him at the top.
The coachee gets all jazzed up and during the entire hike they’re having the time of their lives.
And then they get to the top…
The coachee looks around for a minute… and says… “ummm… so what’d you want to show me??”
The coach looks around… and then says “here, check out this rock” — pointing to a small rock in the grass.
The coachee is initially baffled and underwhelmed.
He then gets it.
The coach had no idea what he was going to show him at the top.
That wasn’t the point of the hike.
The point was to enjoy the journey.
To experience the joy and LIFE that comes when we live FROM a possibility that lights us up.
***
Wishing you a wonderful week.
Be free.
Be fulfilled.
Play big (if you prefer :)).
Much love.
Believing in you,
Stephen
