Practical Relationship Wisdom
Quick and deep insights into creating a beautiful relationship.
11 things to embrace
1. Be patient and kind, especially to yourself.
2. Open and honest communication is the way.
* Create with intentions and agreements a space for communication that’s emotionally safe to share both how you feel and what you require to be well.
* Create a collaborative dynamic where you can navigate challenges with curiosity and be inspired to explore possibilities and solutions together.
* Once you agree and implement solutions, check in to determine how they’re working. If so, great. If not, evolve the solution.
3. Clearly share and honor the fundamentals that support your well-being.
4. Serve each other.
5. Appreciate each other.
6. Learn each other’s love languages.
7. Ask “what’s the most loving thing I could do?”
8. Take care of yourself.
9. Pray for support.
10. Give each other permission to be a work in progress, to be human, and to make mistakes. As long as you love each other and are both committed to individual and collective growth, you’ll create a beautiful relationship and life together.
11. Show empathy and compassion and remember that shining the loving light of our awareness onto their pain, helps us both heal.
* Example: “I know you’re still recovering from what happened and I appreciate you participating in this conversation despite that. Thank you for loving me, valuing our relationship, and helping us grow together.”
2 things to avoid
1. Scoreboarding: Keeping track of who does what and trying to make sure we’re each fulfilling 50% of the couple’s responsibilities doesn’t work and creates resentment, distance, and frustration in the relationship. Be open to the possibility of doing what you can for the relationship from a place of service rather than obligation and if you are feeling alone with respect to anything or if you would like additional support, share how you’re feeling in a way that’s kind, constructive, and honest. Your feelings are valid and your needs and wants matter.
2. Taking our love away: If we feel upset in a relationship, oftentimes we react by taking our love away as a way to punish and control. The silent treatment is a great example. We take our love away by not communicating, intending to frustrate them (punish) so they act differently in the future (control). This way of being also destroys relationships. The key isn’t to take our love away but to lean in, communicate, grow together and hang in the conversation even if it’s difficult and uncomfortable. Remember too that there’s a distinction between taking space to recover or process and taking our love away.